Well, what has ahppened since August?

I've become a volunteer at Edinburgh Zoo and am thoroughly enjoyingit. I can visit that place so often and not get bored. As a result I volunteer every second week and am there as a visitor the other weeks.

Getting more comfortable with my teeth but broke them twice and really need to get a new set!

I've also found out that I now have a natural gastric band, better known as a hiatus hernia. Early October I started vomitting blood an several occaisions and I was sent for an endoscopy. Word of advice, make sure you have someone with you, and endocopy camera down the stomach without a sedative is not pleasant!

Anyway I'm now on meds for that and I've lost almost 21 pounds since it all started!

If this had happened last year it would very likely have done in m in. The turn around with the depression is almost complete. To think that this time last year I was in hospital, very nearly on suicide watch! I'm doing two voluntary roles that I really enjoy, the hospital radio and the zoo.

I'm currently at home today, as advised, after having three teeth out yesterday under sedative! I'm still quite drowsy so the sedative is obviously still in my system. There will be pictures of me with my new top set of teeth both in and out. I now only have 3 teeth in the top that are my own and only eight on the bottom. Let this be a warning, look after your teeth and not too many sugary snacks and drinks. Otherwise you could in up talking like thish and without your wallies in it it'sh not a pleashant shight!

It's official! I am now co-presenting the Monday night request show on my local hospital radio station, VRN1287.

It is probably one of the best things I've taken up as it has reminded me of how much I really enjoy music in general. I look forward to Mondays purely because that's the day I do the hospital radio.

It's amazing how at home I feel working at anything to do with either music or animals.

With the four hamsters, Dude, Trillian By-Tor and Snowdog, I feel really relaxed. The other week, whilst making the most of my Edinburgh Zoo membership, I went to a Close Encounters session. At these you have a chance of get up close with some animals such as snails, cockroaches and snakes! I've come to realise how much I like and respect animals.

I've really come to get more involved and open to things that will help with the depression and it certainly seems to be working.

On a lighter note, a silly idea crossed my mind at work today. In this age of various diets, how about the Astronomical Diet. It's a diet that involves eating only this with a name related to space. For example, Mars, Milky Way and Galaxy! One thing this diet does lead to is also astronomical. Weight gain! Waif like supermodels take note!

Sadly, earlier this evening Paddy had to be put to sleep. I'd noticed he was displaying all the classic signs of diabetes and so got him along to the vet. All his signs were that the diabetes was very advanced and way past being able to help control.

Max seems kind of lost at times and seems to be looking for Paddy. I'm sure we'll help him mout (me and Dude that is). All three of us will get through this sad time together. It's amazing how animals can sense something is up as already Dude has helped cheer me up a little!

Everyone over on the hamster Forum that I'm on have also been very supportive. I might only have had Paddy for 12 days but I'm sure they were probably the best 12 days of his short life.

Rest In Peace Paddy.

I'm hooked, for certain. On hamsters I mean. I bought 2 new hamsters last night, a couple of Campbell's Russian Dwarf hamsters. I got them from the adoption section of my local Pets At Home. Originally called Mousey and Rocky, I've renamed them Max and Paddy!

So Dude has neughbours and I now am the owner of three hamsters in total. It's the animals that have given me a lot of help as they give me something to be responsible for. I suppose it's a bit like parents and their children.

I've even found that I am now eating that bit healthier with more fresh veg and steamed fish and chicken have taken the place of ready meals. It hasn't been a fully concious decision either. It's all been quite by chance and I've only really noticed it over the past few weeks.

I think I've changed for the better as well. I've completed a Depression Management course through the local day hospital and that has been really constructive. I have changed a lot of things and become less harsh on myself for not meeting standards so much higher than required. In fact I've even lowered my standards. Filling my time more constructively has made a differemce as well. Still with plans to increase the voluntary things I'm involved in, doing things that i genuinely enjoy, hospital radio being one of them.

It's looking good for an improved life for me. I'll keep you posted!

Well tonight is my first trip along to the VRN hospital radio studios. I'm trying to find some voluntary things I can get involved in all relating to things I really enjoy so hospital radio seemed like a good thing from the music side of things.

I'm also looking for something animal related and I've been asked to consider getting involved with Fife Fire the American Football team.

It should have a number of other benefits as well by increasing my social circle again.

Sadly the depression and anxiety has reared its head again. I'm getting treatment for it though and am back on the paroxetine. I've received my Christmas present off my sister early as well. To give me a bit of company in the evenings I now have a pet hamster that I have called Dude! It's making a difference. I feel much calmer at night so far. It's like I have a living thing to look after and I get a lot of pleasure from doing so. A bit of a master stroke really.

I like animals in general and have never really thought I had the space for a pet of any kind, but when it came to it I've found the space right next to my computer desk. He seems to have a real fascination in the printer when that gets going!

I was going to watch The Great North Run on BBC1 because there are a couple of guys from work running in it. Then I saw with the red button on digital I could watch the World Road Cycling live from Stuttgart!

As the title suggests I've got a short week ahead of me. I'm onl in Monday & Tuesday. Wednesday is the musical highlight of the year for me. Rush at the SECC in Glasgow on Wednesday 3rd October. As I've often said, only one thing would stop me seeing Rush live in the UK, death, mine! Come Wednesday I'll be so hyper! Where my seat is is almost right behind the mixing desk so best sound and probably the best view I've had at a Rush gig in a long time. It should just about make up for missing all but the Glasgow finish of the Tour of Britain.

I'm just about keeping the financial situation under control. In fact if I keep things going the way I have I can probably pull things back into line sooner than expected. Hopefully by next June!

Call it excessive but I now have a proper network up and runing. I had a feeling that my old PC needed a new power supply and I managed to get one for £15. It was indeed the problem and I have just finished setting it up and connecting it to my network. This means I now hav my main PC and my laptop running Windows XP and my olde machine running 98SE all speaking to each other and able to access the net. Result or what? I can make these things work.

It could be seen as a bit OTT. A single guy in a one bedroom flat with a fully functioning network of computers! Then again, why not? If you can why not go for it?

Now I just need rid of this damned cold.